How to Stop Overthinking: Find Calm in Your Mind

Do you want to know how to stop overthinking, but your mind just keeps spinning? Then you know the feeling: the same worries, again and again, without ever getting anywhere.

In this article you'll read what overthinking actually is, why it flares up mostly in the evening and what you can do about it in practice. You'll find simple techniques you can try today, even when you're lying in bed with your thoughts racing. At the end, you'll read when it makes sense to look for help.

What is overthinking, really?

Overthinking is what you do when you keep coming back to the same worries. Often it's about things that might still happen: "What if it goes wrong?" or "What if I forget something?" You go round in circles, and an hour later you're no further along.

Overthinking is not the same as thinking things through

Thinking a problem through has a direction. You look at the options, pick one and get started. Overthinking has no direction. It feels like working on a solution, but it stays stuck on repeat.

A handy rule of thumb: if something new comes out of it after a while, you're thinking things through. If nothing new comes out, you're overthinking.

If nothing new comes out, you're overthinking.

Why do you keep overthinking?

There isn't one single cause. But there are a few situations in which overthinking shows up more often:

• Stress and pressure. When you have a lot on your mind, your brain keeps going after work too.
• Uncertainty. When you don't know how something will turn out, your mind tries to grab every possible outcome.
• Little rest during the day. Worries you push away often come back later.
• Silence. As soon as things quieten down, your thoughts get room to roam.

That's why many people overthink mostly in the evening. During the day there are stimuli, tasks and people who draw your attention. On the sofa or in bed that's gone, and the worries rise to the surface.

How to stop overthinking: 7 techniques you can try

Not every technique suits everyone. Try them out a few times and keep what works for you.

1. Give your worries a fixed worry time

This sounds odd, but many people find it helpful. Pick a fixed moment of 15 to 20 minutes every day, for example at 5 pm. Not right before bedtime. As soon as you start overthinking outside that slot, tell yourself: "I'll save that for my worry time." When the moment arrives, you worry on purpose, with a timer running.

The idea is that your worries aren't forbidden, but they do get a place. That gives you more peace for the rest of the day.

2. Write it down

A worry in your head keeps going round. On paper it gets smaller and clearer. Grab a pen and, without stopping to think, write down everything that's on your mind.

Then add to each worry what you can do about it, even if it's a small step. No step? Then you know that too. Put the paper away and let it rest for a while.

3. Ask yourself: can I do something about this right now?

This is perhaps the most useful question of all. Ask it when you notice you're overthinking.

• Yes, I can do something about it now. Then plan one concrete step, like sending a quick email or making an appointment. Put it in your calendar.
• No, not right now. It can wait until tomorrow or until a certain moment. Or it's out of your hands. Then you can try to let it go.

4. Bring your attention to your body and senses

You can't be fully in your head and fully in your body at the same time. You can use that. Try this short exercise:

1. Name five things you see.
2. Name four things you feel, like your feet on the floor or your back against the chair.
3. Name three things you hear.
4. Name two things you smell.
5. Name one thing you taste.

This brings your attention back to the here and now for a moment. You'll find more exercises like this in our article on grounding exercises.

5. Breathe out slowly

Breathing is a simple way to shift your attention. A well-known exercise is 4-4-4-4, also called box breathing. You breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts and wait for 4 counts before breathing in again. Repeat this for a few minutes.

A second option is 4-7-8: in through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 7 and out through your mouth for 8. If holding your breath feels uncomfortable, make it shorter. What matters is that you breathe out for longer than you breathe in and keep your attention on the counting.

Feeling dizzy or short of breath? Then stop and simply breathe normally. You can read about more calming exercises in relaxation exercises.

6. Get moving

When your head is full, moving can do a lot. A ten-minute walk, a few stretches or a quick trip up and down the stairs. Your thoughts usually won't be gone afterwards, but they'll have less of a grip.

7. Hold something

Sometimes it helps to give your hands something to do. A cushion, a warm cup of tea or a soft, weighted stuffed animal on your lap. It gives your attention something tangible: you feel the weight, the softness and the warmth. Many people experience this as a calm anchor when their thoughts are going in all directions.

A Hugsback is made for exactly that. The Hugsback weighs 2 kg and the weight is spread across its whole body, so it feels like a firm, soft hug. It is not a treatment for overthinking. It's a helper for landing for a moment. Read more in reducing anxiety with deep pressure.

Overthinking in bed: what can you do?

Lying there overthinking is miserable, because you just want to sleep. The harder you try to stop it, the more active your mind often becomes. Try this:

• Write it down earlier. Do a short brain dump before bed. Then you don't have to remember it all in bed.
• Keep a pen and paper next to your bed. If a thought or task comes up, jot it down briefly and lie back down.
• Focus on your breathing or your body. Feel where your body touches the mattress and breathe out slowly.
• Get up if you've been awake for a long time. Go somewhere else, do something calm in low light and go back when you feel sleepy.
• Make it a fixed routine. The same steps every evening signal to your mind that the day is done.

Many people find a soft, weighted stuffed animal a nice part of that routine. You'll find more ideas in our tips on a sleep plush for adults.

What do you do when everything is in your head at once?

Sometimes it isn't one worry, but a head full of everything. The techniques above still help, but it can also be nice to take the pressure off first. In the article clearing your head you'll find extra ideas that fit with this.

Do you mostly notice tension in your body? Then take a look at a weighted stuffed animal for stress and tension. And don't forget small moments of rest during the day: self-care tips for moments of rest give you a few simple examples.

When do you look for help?

Overthinking now and then is part of life. Look for help if:

• you've been overthinking a lot for weeks and it isn't easing;
• you sleep badly because of it, or find it hard to work or study during the day;
• you often feel anxious, low or tense;
• you notice you're avoiding things because of your worries.

Then go to your GP. They can look at things with you and, if needed, refer you on, for example to a psychologist. Asking for help is not a weakness.

Asking for help is not a weakness.

A weighted stuffed animal can be a nice addition to your daily moments of rest, but it never replaces care or treatment. Always use it voluntarily, never over your face or neck, and only if you can easily lift it and put it aside yourself. You can read more about this in is a weighted stuffed animal safe?

Frequently asked questions

How do you stop overthinking?

You don't have to forbid your thoughts. It more often helps to give them a place: write them down, plan a fixed worry time and ask yourself whether you can do anything about it now. Then shift your attention to your body, your breathing or something you can do.

What is the difference between overthinking and thinking things through?

Thinking things through brings you closer to a solution or a choice. Overthinking repeats the same worries without anything changing. Overthinking is often about "what if", thinking things through about "what can I do".

Why do I overthink mostly in the evening?

During the day, tasks and stimuli keep you busy. When it goes quiet, your thoughts get room, and that's exactly when the day's worries come back. A fixed evening routine and writing your worries down earlier can help.

Is overthinking normal?

Yes, almost everyone overthinks now and then, especially in busy or uncertain times. It only becomes a reason to look for help when it goes on for a long time or gets in the way of daily life.

Can a weighted stuffed animal help with overthinking?

Many people experience the weight as a calm hold, which makes it easier to bring their attention to their body. It is not a treatment and doesn't solve worries. For those who like it, it can be a pleasant helper alongside the other tips. See also a weighted stuffed animal for adults.

In closing

Learning how to stop overthinking rarely happens in one go. It's mostly about practising small steps: writing things down, breathing, moving and bringing your attention back to now. Would you like a soft helper for that? Discover our 2 kg weighted stuffed animals: the plush toy that hugs you back.