Self-care tips for busy times: 10 small moments of calm a day

You know rest is important. But when your diary is full, self-care quickly feels like one more thing you have to do: exercise, meditate, take a bath, keep a journal. Yet the best self-care tips for busy times are the small ones. A few minutes in which you settle for a moment, in between everything else.

Here you'll read what self-care is and isn't, find 10 moments of calm from 1 to 10 minutes and learn how to keep them up. And how to notice when you need more than a moment of calm.

What is self-care, and what isn't it?

Self-care means taking good care of yourself so that you can keep going at work, in your family and in your life. It's mostly about the basics: enough sleep, movement, eating at regular times, contact with people you trust and moments when you don't have to do anything. So self-care isn't a luxury, it's maintenance.

The Dutch GP information site Thuisarts also names a regular daily rhythm, moving outdoors and support from others as the basis for coping better with stress.

Self-care is not:

• a treat you have to earn first;
• selfish, because it also makes sure you can be there for others;
• an extra project with rules, apps and schedules;
• something for later, when things are already going wrong.

Self-care is sometimes about leaving things undone, too. Saying no to an extra request, handing over a task or asking your partner, a friend or a colleague for help. What you don't do also gives you room.

The nice thing is that the smallest form is often the easiest to keep up. A two-minute moment of calm that you actually take often helps you more than an hour of yoga that never quite happens.

A two-minute moment of calm that you actually take often helps you more than an hour of yoga that never quite happens.

10 self-care tips: moments of calm from 1 to 10 minutes

Pick two or three that suit your day. You don't have to do them all.

1. Morning: breathe first, then your phone. After waking up, stay in bed for a minute and breathe out slowly and deeply a few times. Only then check your messages.
2. Morning: drink your coffee or tea sitting down. Not standing at the kitchen counter or on the go, but five minutes at the table, with your hands around the warm mug.
3. Morning: choose one thing. What really needs to happen today? Start with that. The rest can wait.
4. Work break: step outside. A ten-minute walk around the block. Being outside and moving helps many people clear their heads.
5. Work break: don't eat at your screen. Close your laptop and taste what you're eating.
6. Work break: the one-minute check-in. Put your feet flat on the floor, let your shoulders drop and notice how you feel. Tired, tense or fine? You don't have to do anything with it, just notice. You'll find more exercises like this in grounding techniques for the here and now.
7. Coming home: a transition moment. Stay sitting in the car for a moment, or take ten minutes for yourself when you get home. Coat off, something to drink, sit down.
8. Coming home: write it out of your head. Note down in three lines what happened today and what needs doing tomorrow. Then your head doesn't have to hold on to it. This is how to clear your mind on paper.
9. Evening: ten minutes without a screen. Put your phone in another room and do something with your hands: wash up, water a plant, read a few pages.
10. Evening: settle on the sofa. Sit down with a blanket or something soft on your lap, dim the lights and do nothing for a while. Five minutes is enough.

How to keep up your moments of calm

The hardest part of self-care usually isn't knowing what you could do, but actually doing it when things are busy. That's why it works better to attach a moment of calm to something you already do every day.

1. Choose a fixed anchor. Something that happens every day: making coffee, closing your laptop, shutting the front door behind you, brushing your teeth.
2. Make it really small. For example: "After making coffee, I breathe out slowly three times." So small that you have no reason to skip it.
3. Start with one moment. Only when it happens by itself do you add a second.
4. Set something out. A mug on the table, a notebook by your bag, a stuffed animal on the sofa. What you see, you're less likely to forget. If you have the space, make a permanent calm corner for your me-time.
5. Be kind to yourself if it doesn't work one day. Tomorrow brings another anchor. Self-care isn't a performance.

This way, rest doesn't become a task on your list but a fixed part of your day. If you notice tension building up mainly in your body, also read about stress and tension in your body.

A moment of calm on the sofa with a weighted stuffed animal

Sitting still is hard when your head is full. You reach for your phone or start mulling things over. Then it can help to give your hands and your attention something: something soft and heavy to hold.

A Hugsback weighted plush toy weighs 2 kg and is approximately 45 cm long. It is filled with fine glass beads distributed throughout its whole body, so the weight rests evenly on your lap or against your tummy. Many people experience that as a calm hug. You feel the weight, your attention shifts from your head to your body and you notice that you don't have to be anywhere for a moment.

The plush toy can also be your anchor. If it's on the sofa, it's a reminder: this is where I take my moment. Put it on your lap, breathe out slowly a few times and stay sitting for as long as it feels good. It won't make your busy life go away, but it does give rest a fixed place. Read more about a weighted stuffed animal for adults.

It won't make your busy life go away, but it does give rest a fixed place.

When self-care isn't enough

Small moments of calm help keep tension from rising too high. But sometimes you've been running on full for too long and your body and mind start sounding the alarm. Watch out for signs like:

• being tired and sleeping badly, even after a quiet weekend;
• worrying a lot and finding it hard to stop;
• getting irritated quickly or crying easily;
• trouble concentrating and remembering things;
• physical complaints such as headaches, stomach aches or pain in your neck and back;
• feeling that you no longer have a grip on your day.

Do you recognise several of these, do they last for weeks, or are work and running the household getting harder and harder? Then talk to your GP about it. You don't have to wait until you can't go on at all.

Frequently asked questions

What exactly is self-care?

Self-care is taking good care of yourself so that you can keep going. Think of enough sleep, movement, healthy food, contact with others and regular moments of rest.

Is self-care selfish?

No. When you take good care of yourself, you have more energy and patience left for the people around you.

How do I find time for self-care when I'm busy?

Keep it small and link it to something you already do. A two-minute moment of calm after making coffee fits into almost any day.

What are some examples of self-care?

For your body: going to bed on time, a walk, actually having lunch. For your mind: writing down your thoughts or fifteen minutes without a screen. For connection: calling a friend or asking for help. And for rest: five minutes on the sofa with something soft on your lap.

Finally

Self-care doesn't have to be big or perfect. It's the small moments in between everything when you settle for a moment. Start with one moment of calm and give it a fixed place in your day. Also read how to make room for emotional release after a hard day, or see all weighted stuffed animals if you're looking for something soft for your own moment of calm.