Waking Up in the Night and Can't Get Back to Sleep: Causes and What to Do

Falling asleep is fine. But then, somewhere in the middle of the night, you're suddenly wide awake. You check your phone, it's 3:12 am, and your mind starts racing. Waking up in the night and not being able to get back to sleep is a common sleep complaint, and it's why you can wake up tired even though you went to bed on time.

In this article you'll read why waking up briefly is completely normal, which causes often play a part and what you can do in each situation when you're lying awake. Plus tips to help you stay asleep, and when to see your GP.

Is waking up in the night normal?

Yes, in most cases it is. Your sleep runs in cycles of about an hour and a half. In each cycle you go from light sleep to deep sleep and back again, with dream sleep in between. At the end of a cycle you sleep very lightly, and that's when you easily wake up for a moment. You turn over and drift off again. The next morning you often don't remember a thing.

So waking up briefly is no sign that something is wrong. It only becomes a nuisance when you can't get back to sleep. Many people also sleep more lightly as they get older. That's normal, although you don't have to simply accept feeling tired during the day.

Why can't you get back to sleep?

The moment you wake up usually isn't the problem. The problem is what happens next. You notice you're awake, you check the time and you start counting: three more hours until the alarm. That switches your mind on. And a mind that's switched on doesn't sleep.

Worries also feel bigger at night than during the day. It's dark and quiet, and there's nothing to distract you. The harder you try to sleep, the more awake you become. Sleep simply can't be forced.

The harder you try to sleep, the more awake you become.

Common causes of waking up often during the night

Often it's a combination. See what fits your situation.

• Overthinking and stress. A busy period or worries about work or money: if your body is switched on all day, it doesn't just switch off at night.
• Alcohol. A glass of wine may make you sleepy, but many people notice they sleep more restlessly in the second half of the night and wake up earlier.
• Caffeine. Coffee, black and green tea, cola and energy drinks can keep working for hours after you drink them. So a cup of coffee after dinner can still affect your night's sleep.
• Heat. A bedroom that's too warm, a duvet that's too thick or someone next to you who gives off a lot of heat: these are well-known reasons to wake with a start in the middle of the night.
• Needing to pee. Drinking a lot in the evening often means a full bladder at 3am. If you need to go several times a night, even when you drink little in the evening, that's something to discuss with your GP.
• Light and noise. A streetlight, early daylight, traffic or a snoring partner can pull you out of that light sleep.
• An irregular routine. Changing bedtimes, sleeping in at the weekend or long naps during the day make it hard for your body to know when it should sleep.

What to do when you wake up in the night and can't get back to sleep

You'll find tips for falling asleep in 10 tips to fall asleep more easily. This is about lying awake in the middle of the night, and each situation calls for a slightly different approach.

You wake up at 3am and your mind starts racing

1. Don't look at the clock. Turn your alarm clock around and leave your phone where it is. Knowing the time doesn't help you, it only starts the counting.
2. Name what's happening. Tell yourself: I'm overthinking, and that's part of the night. It sounds simple, but it takes the drama out of it.
3. Park your thoughts. Keep a notepad and pen next to your bed. Write down in a few words what's on your mind, without solving it. You'll look at it tomorrow, not now.
4. Bring your attention to your body. Breathe calmly and breathe out a little longer than you breathe in. Feel where your body touches the mattress: your heels, your bottom, your shoulders. You'll find more exercises in breathing exercises for more calm.
5. Get up if it isn't working. If you're still awake after about twenty minutes and getting more restless, go to another room with soft light. Read something boring or listen to calm music. Go back as soon as you feel sleepy.

Do you often end up in this loop? In how to stop overthinking you'll read how to schedule a fixed worry time during the day, so your mind has less work to do at night.

You wake up far too early

Awake at 5 am while your alarm doesn't go off until 7: not quite rested, but too awake to drift off again.

• Keep it dark. Especially in late spring and summer, early daylight can wake you. Blackout curtains or a sleep mask can help.
• Lie still, without your phone. Resting with your eyes closed is nicer than opening your email straight away.
• Look at your bedtime. If you go to bed very early, sometimes you've simply had enough sleep. Going to bed half an hour later can make a difference.
• Pay attention to your mood. Do you keep waking up early and also feel low or listless during the day? Take that seriously and talk to your GP about it.

You wake up several times a night

• Look for the pattern. For a week, keep track of what time you woke up and why: needing to pee, feeling warm, noise, dreams. Often you'll see a common thread.
• Tackle the practical cause. Drink less in the last hour before bed, turn the heating down, choose a thinner duvet or try earplugs.
• Keep waking up small. Don't switch on a big light, don't pick up your phone and go straight back to bed after a trip to the toilet.

Some people like to hold something when they're lying awake. For many, a soft plush toy with a little weight feels like a calm anchor, something to keep your attention on instead of on your thoughts. It's not a treatment for sleep maintenance problems and it doesn't work for everyone. You can read more about this in sleep plush for adults.

How to stay asleep: tips for the daytime and evening

Sleeping through the night starts long before you turn off the light. These habits make your night more solid.

• Get up at around the same time every day. Even after a bad night and at the weekend too. A fixed wake-up time is one of the strongest anchors for your rhythm.
• Get daylight in the morning. A short walk or breakfast by the window helps your body tell day and night apart.
• Move during the day. But keep strenuous exercise out of the last few hours before bed.
• Go easy on naps. A long afternoon nap can reduce your sleep pressure for the night. If you do nap, keep it short and early in the afternoon.
• Stop caffeine and alcohol in good time. Ideally drink coffee only in the morning and early afternoon, and notice what it does for your night when you skip alcohol for a few evenings.
• Clear your mind before bed. An hour before going to sleep, write down what needs to happen tomorrow. Clearing your mind has more ways to wrap up your day.

Sleeping through the night starts long before you turn off the light.

Why do you sometimes wake up tired?

Sometimes you spend eight hours in bed and still feel wrecked. There can be several reasons for that.

• Your sleep was interrupted. Even if you don't remember the moments you were awake, a night with lots of short interruptions can feel less restful.
• The alarm went off during deep sleep. If you're woken in the middle of a deep phase, you often feel groggy and slow. That usually wears off within half an hour.
• You slept less than you think. If you spend eight hours in bed but lay awake for an hour, you've slept less than it seems.
• Your breathing pauses. Heavy snoring with pauses in breathing can disrupt your sleep without you noticing. That's a reason to see your GP.

When should you see your GP?

A few restless nights during a stressful period are part of life. Do make an appointment with your GP if:

• you've been struggling to stay asleep for more than a few weeks and it's affecting your daily life;
• your partner says you snore loudly or sometimes stop breathing for a moment, or you wake up with a headache or a dry mouth;
• you sweat at night, often need to pee, are in pain or notice other physical symptoms;
• you feel low, anxious or listless, or keep waking up very early with a heavy feeling;
• you're so tired during the day that you struggle to stay awake, for example while driving.

Your GP can help you look for the cause and support you further, for example with guidance for sleep problems. If you're having thoughts of suicide, contact your local crisis line or emergency services; if you're in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.

Frequently asked questions

How often is it normal to wake up in the night?

Waking up briefly a few times a night is normal, usually between two sleep cycles. It only becomes a problem if you regularly lie awake for a long time and don't feel rested during the day.

Why do I always wake up around 3 or 4am?

In the second half of the night you sleep more lightly, so you wake up more easily. Stress, alcohol or a full bladder make that more likely. And in the silence your mind starts overthinking more quickly.

Should I get out of bed if I can't sleep?

If you're dozing calmly, stay in bed. If you're getting more restless, after about twenty minutes go and do something calm in another room and come back when you feel sleepy.

Can I keep a weighted stuffed animal in bed at night?

Many people hold a weighted plush toy while falling asleep or when they're lying awake at night. Make sure you can always easily push it away yourself and never place it over your face or neck. Read more in is a weighted stuffed animal safe?

Final thoughts

Waking up in the night is frustrating, but you're definitely not the only one. It often helps to make being awake smaller: don't look at the clock, park your thoughts and get up in good time if it isn't working. Would you like something to hold when the house is quiet? Then take a look at our 2 kg weighted stuffed animals: the plush toy that hugs you back, even at 3am.