Activities for dementia patients: ideas for each stage and thoughtful gifts

Visiting your mum, dad or grandma with dementia and not quite sure what to do together? Lots of people know that feeling. Conversation no longer flows by itself, old hobbies don't work the way they used to and an afternoon can feel long. Still, there are plenty of activities for dementia patients that do fit: small, familiar and with no need for anything to be perfect.

In this article you'll read why small activities can be so worthwhile, what to keep in mind, which ideas suit which stage and which games work well. You'll also find out more about the dementia doll and soft toys, about choosing a thoughtful gift for someone with dementia and how to look after yourself as a carer or visitor.

Why dementia activities can be so worthwhile

With dementia, a lot slowly falls away: work, hobbies, the household, being in charge of your own day. What's left is often a lot of sitting still and waiting. Small activities give the day a bit of shape again. Someone has something to do, feels useful and makes contact, even when that happens without many words.

Don't expect miracles. Activities don't stop dementia, and the aim isn't to practise or train anything either. It's about something simpler: a pleasant moment, together. A smile at a song from the old days, hands calmly folding socks, an afternoon that feels just a little less long.

It's about something simpler: a pleasant moment, together.

Starting points: how to make an activity doable

• Build on the past. What did someone love doing? A retired carpenter might enjoy sanding a small plank, someone who always cooked might like helping to peel potatoes.
• Keep it short. Ten or fifteen minutes is often enough. Stop while it's still fun.
• One thing at a time. Give one step at a time and keep the table clear of everything except what you need.
• Make sure it feels like a success. Choose something that works. Too easy is better than too hard.
• Don't correct or improve. Socks folded crooked? Leave them. The doing matters more than the result.
• Choose a calm spot. TV off, few people around, good light.

The doing matters more than the result.

Activities for dementia patients at each stage

Dementia progresses differently for everyone. That's why the breakdown below is only a rough guide. Above all, look at the person in front of you: what works today, and what makes them happy?

Early-stage dementia

In the beginning, someone can often still do a lot on their own. Activities can then offer a little more challenge, as long as they stay relaxed.

• Make a life story book together. Gather photos and add short lines: names, places, years. Later on, the book is lovely to leaf through together too.
• Walking. A familiar loop around the neighbourhood or the park, with time to stop at a garden or a dog.
• Baking or cooking. A simple recipe from the old days, like an apple pie or pancakes. You read it out, they stir and taste.
• A card game from the old days. Rummy, whist or crazy eights often keep going well for a long time, because they're so familiar.

Middle stage

As dementia progresses, short, recognisable tasks usually work better than games with rules.

• Household chores. Folding socks, folding tea towels, sorting cutlery or arranging buttons by colour. It feels useful and the hands often still know exactly how it's done.
• Music from the old days. Put on songs from when someone was twenty. Singing along, humming along or just listening: it's all fine.
• Looking at photos. Leaf through the life story book or an old photo album. Don't ask "do you remember who this is?", but tell the story yourself: "Look, here you all are at the campsite."
• Going outside. Sitting in the garden for a while, watering the flowers or a short walk with the wheelchair.

Advanced dementia

In a later stage, the focus shifts from doing to feeling, hearing and smelling. Activities become smaller and calmer.

• Keeping hands busy. A twiddle muff or fidget cushion with buttons and loops, a scrap of soft fabric or a ball of wool to feel.
• Holding something soft. A soft toy, a soft cushion or a blanket on the lap can give something to hold on to.
• The senses. A hand massage with a familiar cream, the smell of freshly baked bread, some music softly in the background.
• Animals. A calm dog or cat visiting, or watching birds by the window. For many people, an animal brings up warm feelings.

Games for older people with dementia

Games can be fun, as long as winning doesn't matter. Choose games with few rules and large, clear pieces.

• Memory with large cards. Start with a few pairs and cards with recognisable pictures. You can lay them face up, then it becomes a finding game.
• Jigsaws with few pieces. There are jigsaw puzzles for adults with large pieces and beautiful images, so no children's pictures.
• A card game from the old days. Play a round together and quietly help out if it gets stuck.
• Bingo or picture lotto. Works well in a group, for example at a day centre.
• Finishing sayings. "A penny saved..." Many people finish a line like that effortlessly.

The dementia doll and soft toys: what are they?

A dementia doll is a lifelike doll, often in the shape of a baby, that someone with dementia can hold or care for. This is often called doll therapy. Some people find comfort in it. They rock the doll, talk to it or look after it the way they once did for their own children. Others don't connect with it at all, or even find it unpleasant. Both are fine.

The same goes for soft toys. A soft toy can offer something familiar to hold or to care for. A soft toy is sometimes also a nice in-between step for someone who finds a doll too much. What counts is a respectful approach:

• Offer, don't push. Put the doll or soft toy down and see what happens. Is it picked up, or does it stay where it is?
• Don't be childish about it. Talk about it normally, like any other object. Don't laugh and don't make a joke of it.
• Follow their lead. If someone sees the doll as a baby, there's no need to set them straight.
• Notice how it feels. Does it bring calm, or rather worry? Sometimes someone gets anxious about where "the baby" is. Then see whether it still fits.

A weighted stuffed animal can be an option too: something soft and heavy to hold on the lap. How that works and when it fits, you can read in detail in weighted stuffed animal for dementia and Alzheimer's. The safety rules in brief:

• The person must always be able to push away or move the plush toy themselves.
• Place it on the lap or in the arms. Never on the face or neck, and not on the chest of someone lying down.
• Always voluntary, and never to keep someone still or to restrain them.
• Keep an eye on things, especially at first, and watch for discomfort, warmth or breathlessness.
• In a care home, discuss it with the care team and preferably give one plush toy per person.

A weighted plush toy is not a treatment and doesn't replace care. It's something to hold, nothing more.

Gifts for someone with dementia: practical, familiar and soft

Choosing a gift for someone with dementia is tricky. A book no longer gets read, an outing can be too much. Small gifts for older people often work best: something you can use, see, hear or feel. A few ideas:

• Practical. A large clock showing the day and date, warm slippers with a sturdy sole, a soft cardigan with big buttons.
• Familiar. A photo book with family and places from the past, a CD or speaker with music from the old days, a familiar perfume or soap.
• Sensory. A fleece throw, a twiddle muff, a soft toy or a hand cream to use together.
• Time together. A walk, a regular visiting time or baking together. For many people, this is the loveliest gift of all.

Choose one simple gift rather than lots of bits and pieces, and wrap it so it's easy to open. Looking for something that offers comfort in a difficult time? You'll find more ideas in the comfort plush or comfort buddy and in thinking-of-you gifts.

Tips for carers and visitors

• Pick the right time. For many people with dementia, the morning or early afternoon is the best moment. Plan the activity or visit then.
• Meet restlessness calmly. Towards the end of the afternoon or in the evening, someone may become more restless. Keep things small then: soft light, calm music, something soft on the lap. Don't argue, but reassure.
• Watch the stimuli. A full room, a loud TV or lots of visitors at once can become too much. You'll find ideas for a calm spot in setting up a low-stimulus room.
• Come in calmly. Approach someone from the front, say your name and give them a moment to settle.
• Take a break yourself. Caring for someone with dementia asks a lot. Plan moments for yourself too, even if it's just fifteen minutes. You'll find inspiration in self-care and small moments of rest.

Do you work in care or at a day centre? Then also read about a weighted plush toy in care settings.

If you're unsure what's suitable, or if someone's behaviour or mood changes, talk to their GP, the dementia case manager or the care team.

Frequently asked questions

What are good activities for people with dementia?

Activities that build on the past and are short and simple: music, looking at photos, walking, baking, folding socks or holding something soft. Above all, look at what someone still enjoys now.

How long should an activity last?

Ten to fifteen minutes is often enough. Stop when someone gets tired or restless, or precisely while it's still fun.

Isn't a dementia doll childish?

Not if you offer it respectfully. Some people find comfort in a doll or soft toy to care for or hold, others don't. Offer it and follow their reaction.

What's a good gift for someone with dementia?

Something practical, familiar or sensory: music from the old days, a photo book, a soft throw, a twiddle muff or a soft toy. Spending time together is often the nicest gift.

What do you do if someone doesn't feel like it?

That's fine. Try again later, or simply sit together. Something doesn't always have to happen.

In closing

Dementia activities don't have to be big. A song, a pile of socks, a walk or something soft on the lap can be enough for a good moment. Follow their lead, keep it simple and don't forget yourself. Looking for something soft to hold? Take a look at our 2 kg weighted stuffed animals.